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lyrics written by Brian Hageman
My pal the tortoise, how fast does he go?
Oh man, he goes like crazy
What about the cut of his jib?
I think it's the finest cut you'll ever find
What does he file at the Hall of Records?
A proclamation of tortoise intent
Does he live the life of a madman?
Yes he lives the life of a madman
What falls to his mouth from trees above?
Hot tarts swinging under painted umbrellas
My pal the tortoise, his fortune is boundless
Who does he see on nights by the river?
All the stars he's ever admired
What does he find in the mud under rivers?
Sweet lumps of honey wrapped in golden gowns
Does he live the life of a madman?
Yes, he lives the life of a madman
What does he see when he's inside his shell?
A long dark bar filled with fishes drinking
A carousel filled with horses on man-backs
A blacktop road subdued by sand dune beauties
Does he live the life of a madman?
Yes, he lives the life of a madman
